By Mitch Moore

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The Missouri Mule, which famously served in both World Wars in the fight for freedom, has added to its legend by bringing Liberty to the Missouri Libertarian Party.

Lady Liberty will replace the Missouri Mule as the Missouri Libertarian Party's ballot emblem beginning with the August 2004 primary election.

The Missouri Libertarian Party has the Missouri Mule to thank for securing Liberty for it. Henceforth, the ballot emblem and symbol of the Missouri Libertarian Party will be identical to the national symbol of the Libertarian Party. This will allow the party to coordinate its campaign materials more effectively as well as represent what the party stands for.

Missouri Democrats held Liberty hostage since before the formation of the Libertarian Party in 1971. It is not clear why the Democrats in Missouri did not use the donkey as its symbol. Much of what Democrats do makes no sense.

Missouri Libertarians were not allowed to use Lady Liberty as its symbol because it was too similar to that being used by Missouri Democrats. Prior to 1996, Missouri Libertarians used the Liberty Bell as their ballot emblem, but we wanted our Liberty.

In 1996, shortly after the Missouri Mule was made our state's official animal, the Missouri Libertarian Party adopted the Missouri Mule as its ballot emblem for the purpose of freeing Liberty from the clutches of the Democrats.

Democrats had used and abused Lady Liberty repeatedly over the years. While holding Lady Liberty hostage, Democrats have worked to take liberty from all Americans and replace it with an intrusive bureaucratic nanny-state that is bankrupting the future of our country.

We Libertarians want Liberty not just for ourselves, but for everyone. It was disturbing to see Liberty abused by the Democrats. Liberty is the national symbol of the Libertarian Party and the Democrats' use of it on the ballot was confusing to voters, which gave me an idea about how to win Liberty back for Libertarians.

Democrats Abandon Liberty

Envy of that which others have is a trait which identifies Democrats, so we used it against them. Democrats would not let anyone else have Liberty, so to loosen their grip we adopted the Missouri Mule as our symbol hoping that the Democrats would respond by becoming envious enough to abandon Liberty altogether.

Our plan worked to perfection.

From 1996 to the present, every election cycle included a story about the Libertarian Mule on the ballot. Everyone loved the Libertarian Mule. Newspapers did story after story on it. Television broadcasters smiled as they showed it to their audience and tried to explain that Libertarians had the Mule while Democrats were holding Liberty hostage. Radio commentators chuckled when talking about the interesting ballot symbol.

A few risqué explanations made the rounds. "The Democrats stole our liberty, so we pinched their ass," was especially succinct.

Missouri Democrats grew increasingly jealous of the Libertarians' ass, that is, Mule. They did not like the attention it received and they had no adequate explanation for holding Liberty hostage. Libertarians knew Democrats would forsake Liberty altogether for a little...donkey.

Democrats Finally Release Liberty

A few months ago, the Missouri Democratic Party quietly changed their ballot symbol to that of a donkey standing on its front legs. The Missouri Mule triumphed! Missouri Libertarians immediately moved to secure Lady Liberty as its ballot emblem, and the Secretary of State approved the change.

Moral of the Story

Democrats proved that they are the asses who did not want Liberty. Libertarians proved that they want Liberty is possible to attain it. And the Missouri Mule proved, once again, that it is a useful animal in the cause of Liberty!

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